Dear Pia and Spud,
There are simply no words to describe the pain that is knowing that as long as I am here on this earth, I cannot have you. From the moment your daddy and I knew you both were there, we loved you deeply. The love that I felt for you is a different love than I had ever felt before and one I didn't even know was possible. If I could have given my life in place of yours I would have done so in a heart beat. I ache because I selfishly want you here, with me and your daddy, but I know you are in a place that is SO much better. To think that Jesus will be the one raising you is bittersweet. Again, selfishly, I want you in MY arms but you have the Creator of the universe holding you and that is pretty amazing. He has a love for you that is bigger and better than even the love I have for you! If you cannot be here with us, I find so much peace knowing that at this moment you are in the arms of Jesus and I just cannot wait till the day we will be together again. Because the day will come, sweet babies, that we will be together and I promise you I will hold you so close to make up for the time we have to be apart. I cannot wait to see your faces. I cannot wait to run my fingers thru your hair as I stare into your eyes and kiss your cheeks. My heart is so heavy because it seems like it will be forever until that day comes. I wanted so badly to have you with us now. Jesus has a plan though, my sweet babies, and He has proven time and time again that He wants the best for all of us, so I will trust him.
I just love you so much. So much that my heart can hardly stand it. Please, please know that.
Love Forever and Ever,
Your Mommy
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